In light of the recent Mitchell Report, the continuing saga between Rogers Clemens and his former trainer Brian McNamee, and these Congressional hearings on steroids, I feel compelled to write our second installment of ”All-Time Teams”…The All-Juiced Team!!  Now, some of the players on this 25-man roster will have been named in the Mitchell Report, others will have been rumored in other channels, and even some will be pure speculation on my part.  No matter the case, I will try and make a semi-compelling case for naming each player.  People need to realize that the Mitchell Report was merely the tip of the iceberg with uncovering players who used PED’s.  Usage likey ran so much deeper it would blow most fans away.  I venture to guess this report covered only 5-15% of all players who have used performance-enhancing substances in the last decade or so.  And just from pouring over the numbers, the heaviest usage, in my estimation, came from 1996-2001. 

Now I won’t place just any player on this infamous team, but rather ones that performed at an All-Star level for at least a full season.  The team may have an over-abundance of hitters on the 25-man roster, but so be it.  I would also like to apologize upfront if I hurt or angered any fans with this list, but it’s all in good fun…so lighten up.  This fictional team is for entertainment purposes only, and is not to be confused with any serious claims of guilt.  Well, let’s get to it already…enjoy!  Also, let me know if there are any players you would have put on this list, and who you would have removed?   

Starting Lineup:

1. Brady Anderson - CF
2. Miguel Tejada - SS
3. Barry Bonds - LF
4. Mark McGwire - 1B
5. Juan Gonzalez - DH
6. Sammy Sosa - RF
7. Ken Caminiti - 3B
8. Ivan Rodriguez - C
9. Bret Boone - 2B

Bench: Luis Gonzalez, Rafael Palmeiro, Javy Lopez, Gary Sheffield, Jason Giambi and Mo Vaughn

Starting Rotation:

#1 - Roger Clemens
#2 - Andy Pettitte
#3 - Kevin Brown
#4 - Chuck Finley
#5 - Denny Neagle 

Setup Man: John Wetteland

Closer: Eric Gagne

Bullpen: Mike Stanton, John Rocker and Brendan Donnelly

——————————————————————————–

Brady Anderson: 1 of *only* 2 players in major-league history to hit 50 HR’s in 1 season, and have 50 SB’s in another - the other being Barry Bonds.  After a combined 72 HR’s in his first 7 seasons, Anderson hit 30 HR’s by the All-Star break in the 1996 season, and ended it with 50 total gofer-balls.  He also stole 21 bases, and remains 1 of only 4 players with a 50-20 season (Willie Mays, Ken Griffey, Jr. and A-Rod).  That season, he became the only player in history to be in both the 50-20 and 20-50 clubs.

Miguel Tejada: A former A’s teammate of Tejada, Adam Piatt, told Senator Mitchell that he provided Miguel Tejada with steroids and HGH in 2003. In 2005, Tejada told Congress that he never used PED’s, and he is now being probed for perjury. On the diamond, Tejada won an AL MVP award with the A’s in 2002, when he hit .308 with 34 HR’s and 131 RBI. In 2004 with the Orioles, a year after Piatt supposedly supplied him with PED’s, Tejada matched his career-high with 34 homers, and addded a career-high 150 RBI, while batting .311. I guess those really do help performance! He also had a 1,152 consecutive games streak.

Barry Bonds: Mr. BALCO himself. Do I really need to bother with this one? OK.  For one, please see Bonds’ pic above, and then look at him now! Secondly, the man hit a major-league record 73 HR’s in ‘01. 73!! He followed that up with a ridiculous .370/.582/.799 season in ‘02, somehow adding 46 more HR’s while walking almost 200 times! Should I go on? Oh, and he has a head big enough for use as a wrecking ball.

Mark McGwire: In 1998, McGwire set the then single-season HR record with 70 dingers, in a tremendous homer race with Sosa, who finished with 66 himself. In 3 seasons, from ‘97-’99, Big Mac hit an incredible 193 HR’s. We of course all remember his display in front of Congress as well, where he basically admitted his guilt to taking PED’s by crying.   McGwire “wasn’t there to talk about the past.” But he sure has no problem spending the millions of dirty dollars he made in past.

Juan Gonzalez: Also named in the Mitchell Report, Juan Gone was a beast for the Texas Rangers from 1996-1999. During that span, Gonzalez averaged just over 43 HR’s and an insane 140 RBI per season. His best season came in ‘97, when he crushed 45 HR’s and 157 RBI to go along with a .318 BA and 110 runs scored. After the ‘01 season, Juan Gone just couldn’t find a way to stay healthy, as his body broke-down.

Sammy Sosa: After hitting 36, 40 and 36 HR’s from in the ‘95-’97 seasons, respectively, Sosa exploded for 66, 63, 50 and 64 HR’s in the next 4 seasons. Sammy won the NL MVP in ‘98, after thrilling fans with his HR race with fellow All-Juice Team member, Mark McGwire. That same season, both players broke Roger Maris’ HR record of 61. Sosa is the only player in MLB history with 3 seasons of over 60 HR’s! Like McGwire, he was also a disgrace in front of Congress, making it easy to write his career off as PED-fueled. Oh, and he also corked his bat. 

Ken Caminiti: Following his trade from the Astros after the ‘04 season, where he hit .283 with only 18 HR’s and 75 RBI, Caminiti batted .302/26/94 in ‘05 and .326 with 40 HR’s and 130 RBI in ‘06 for the Padres. He won the NL MVP for his 1996 season. Caminiti sadly died in 2004 of a drug overdose-induced heart attack.

Ivan Rodriguez: A former teammate of Jose Canseco, Juan Gonzalez and Rafael Palmeiro with the Texas Rangers, Pudge showed a sizeable increase in power numbers in his later years with the team. In 1999, he set career-highs in HR’s, RBI and SB. He finished that season with a .332 average, 35 HR’s, 113 RBI and 25 stolen bases. A year later, Pudge set a career-high in batting average, hitting .347 and adding 27 bombs. After leaving Texas, his numbers started to decrease drastically, as he hit 16, 19, 14, 13 and 11 homers from 2003-2007 with the Marlins and Tigers.  

Bret Boone: From ‘99-’00, Boone hit a total 39 HR’s and added 137 RBI. He then managed 37 dingers and a league-leading 141 RBI in his 2001 season with the Mariners. Boone also had a career-high .331 batting average that season, and had other career highs in triples (5), runs (118) and hits (206), earning him a Silver Slugger award. Boone was a career .266 hitter.    

Luis Gonzalez: From 1998-2000, Gonzo hit 23, 26 and 31 jacks. Then, out of nowhere, he mashed 57 homers in the 2001 season. He followed-up that improbable season with a mere 28, 26 and 17 HR’s in the ‘02-’04 seasons. Now I don’t want to be a pessimist or a McCarthy-ist, but c’mon!

Rafael Palmeiro: He wagged his finger at Congress, denying ever using steroids, period! Then he was stupid enough to test positive for a banned substance shortly thereafter. What an idiot. His stats remained consistently good throughout the 90’s and into the 2000’s, but now we may know why. From ‘98-’02, Palmeiro averaged about 44 HR’s and 123 RBI per season. His best year came in ‘99, when he crushed 47 homers and knocked in an incredible 148 RBI. He also added a line of .324/.420/.630…wow!

Javy Lopez: Lopez was a staple in the Atlanta Braves’ lineup from 1992-2003. In this time period, he had three 20+ HR seasons, a 34 HR season, and then there was 2003. Lopez belted 43 bombs in just 129 games. He used this season to grab a huge contract from the Baltimore Orioles. The next three seasons with Baltimore? 23 HR..15 HR..8 HR. Hmm…

Gary Sheffield: Sheffield’s inclusion is pretty self-explanatory. I mean, after all, he admitted using “the clear” and “the cream” to a grand jury. The testimony was leaked, and now we know the truth, kind of.  He’s been a power hitter throughout his career, who knows how far his use goes back? In a contract year with the Braves in ‘03, Sheff hit .330 with 39 HR’s and 132 RBI, before signing a long-term deal with the Yankees.

Jason Giambi: One word: BALCO. In a grand jury testimony, Giambi admitted to using steroids from 2001-2003.  He injected himself with HGH during the 2003 season (41 HR for NY). Giambi was amazing for Oakland in the late 90’s and early 2000’s. He consistently hit well over .300 (he hit .333 in 2000, and .341 in 2001), and he had five straight seasons hitting at least 33 HR from 1999-2003. His last few years for the Yankees have not been nearly as productive, however.  Once one of the most feared and dangerous power hitters in the game, he now struggles to hit .250, it seems. Two of the last three years have produced 30+ HR seasons, but his batting average is in serious decline. He is no longer capable of playing defense, as he is slow and fragile…basically, he’s a butcher at first base. He has also had numerous injuries over the course of the last few seasons (in 2004, he was diagnosed with a benign tumor). His contract with the Yankees (7 years $120 million) will go down as one of the largest fleeces in the history of the game. The Yankees have a grand total of 0 World Championships since Giambi joined the team. But at least he apologized to fans…for “something” (after years of lies). What that is exactly, we may never know <wink, wink>?

Mo Vaughn: Vaughn’s name popped up in the Mitchell Report, and I must admit, this one was a little bit of a surprise.  Yes, he was a masher. Yes, knowing his name now makes some sense. Yet, I always thought his only performance enhancers were cheese burgers, milk shakes, and candy bars. Apparently he liked to mix in some illegal steroids with his 17-topping pizza pies. From ‘95-’96 with the Red Sox, Vaughn averaged close to 42 HR’s and 135 RBI, to go with a .313 BA. And although he only admitted to PED use for the years following his Red Sox prime, Mo - like MLB - will have to sleep in the bed he made for himself and accept the speculation.

Roger Clemens: I’m kind of getting sick of the entire Clemens’ saga. We all know the story. McNamee said he has injected Roger in his butt-cheeks, and Clemens has denied such allegations…in a nut shell. He was named 93 times in the Mitchell Report.  As Clemens has aged, he seems to have gotten better. Initially, many thought his continued dominance was due to a shift to the NL when he pitched with the Houston Astros from 2004-2006. After two “sub-par” seasons with the Red Sox in 1995 & 1996 (20-18) where he looked out of shape and, as then Sox GM Dan Duquette put it, appeared to be “in the twilight of his career,” Clemens went on to dominate for the Blue Jays (41-13). He was then very good for the NY Yankees from 1999-2003 (77-36). He came full-circle and dominated once again with the with the Astros , especially in 2005 where he rocked a 1.87 ERA at the tender age of 43 (don’t forget his 2.30 ERA in 2006). I could write forever, but quite honestly, I’m sick of hearing about Clemens. He is viewed widely as one of the best pitchers of this generation, but it seems he had some “assistance” in making this happen, primarily in his latter years.

Andy Pettitte: Andy was included in the Mitchell Report, and has admitted using HGH “twice” to help him recover from elbow injuries, so he could get back on the field and help his teammates. He also was best “buds” with “The Rocket”, and workout partners. Give him some credit for being honest. But if he hid this truth for so long, why should we believe he only used HGH twice? His admission gives McNamee some credibility, however, as the saga with Roger Clemens continues.  In 2003, Pettitte went 21-8 for the Yankees. For his career, Andy has won approximately 64 percent of his decisions, and has won 4 World Championships.

Kevin Brown: Named in the Mitchell Report, Brown went 92-45 from 1996-2001, while pitching for the Marlins, Padres and Dodgers.  In 1996, Brown recorded a 17-11 record with a major-league best 1.89 ERA. A year later, also for the Marlins, Brown went 16-8 with a 2.69 ERA, while helping to lead the team to the 1997 World Series title.  He also threw a no-hitter and a one-hitter in that ‘97 season. In 1998 with the Padres, Brown went 18-7 with a 2.38 ERA, and set a career-high in strikeouts with 257.  He helped lead them to the World Series as well, where they were mercilessly swept by the Yankees. Following that season, Kevin Brown FLEECED the Los Angeles Dodgers for a 7-year, $105 million contract, becoming the 1st $100 million man in all of baseball. During this contract, Brown averaged only 9 wins per season, and was oft-injured. 

Chuck Finley: Finley was implicated by his wife of all people, former model Tawny Kitaen. She claimed that Chuck “bragged” that he knows how to “get around drug testing within the baseball league.” Finley won 200 games in his career, and posted a solid 3.85 ERA. He won at least 15 games in a season 7 times throughout his 17-year major-league career. He also pitched at least 190 innings in 9 different seasons. Did he have help with his durability, as Kitaen claimed?  Seems very possible.

Denny Neagle: This guy used steroids? He sucks. Oh, wait…he went 50-22 from 1996-1998 between the Pirates and Braves. In 1997 specifically, Neagle went 20-5 with a 2.97 ERA. After the ‘98 season, Neagle had just 1 season with an ERA under 4.50. He was also implicated in the Mitchell Report, along with so many of his ”All-Juice Team” teammates. Welcome to the squad, Denny.

John Wetteland: In 1996 (contract year), Wetteland led the AL with 43 saves, en route to a Rolaids Relief Man Award and a Yankees World Championship. He won the World Series MVP that season as well, saving all 4 Yankee victories. He then signed a 4-year, $23 million contract with the Texas Rangers. Even after elbow surgery before the ‘99 season, Wetteland set a Rangers franchise record with 43 saves, and made the All-Star team. In 1997 and 1998, Wetteland had an ERA of 1.94 and 2.03, respectively, with a WHIP under 1.00 each year. He was also a teammate of Juan Gonzalez and Pudge in ‘97.

Eric Gagne: Gagne converted 55 out of 55 save opportunities in 2003.  From 2002-2004, Gagne saved 152 games while blowing only 6 games. Since then, injuries have struck him down, and prior to 2002, he had been a mediocre starter. Kirk Radomski hooked him up, big time. Mr. “Game Over” recently fleeced the Brewers to the tune of a $10 million, one year contract for 2008.

Mike Stanton: Named in the Mitchell Report, Stanton went 30-12 for the New York Yankees from 1997-2002, where he helped the team win 3 World Championships. He even added an All-Star Game appearance in 2001 to his resume. Since then, Stanton has been on the decline, compiling a 15-26 record.

John Rocker: Rocker was a mad-man for the Braves as their closer from 1999-2001. Opponents feared him, and I bet his teammates did too. He saved 81 games during this three-year time period. As quickly as he burst onto the baseball scene, he disappeared into the night. Rocker was implicated in a steroid ring in March 2007 which included Applied Pharmacy of Mobile, Alabama (pro wrestler Kurt Angle was also involved in this ring). That crazy look in his eyes still gives me nightmares.

Brendan Donnelly: Donnelly allegedly received “Deco-Durabolin” from Kirk Radomski, and he had approached Radomski after 2004 looking to purchase Anavar. In 2003, this middle relief pitcher rocked a 1.58 ERA in 74 IP. He’s been a solid contributor, when healthy, since then. His days of such dominance are behind him, however.

Filed under: _ Dream Teams, _Mitchell Report/Steroids